5 questions to help clarify what you want from your life

Do you know what you want for your life?Like, really know? I think sometimes we get confused about what we truly want, because there are so many voices telling us what we should want. We 'should' all want our legs to only touch each other at the knees and the ankles. We should want important, high-paying jobs, well curated capsule wardrobes, and probiotic drinks. We should get more stuff but also get rid of more stuff. We should get donuts. We should get a raise and a new car. Should should should. 

I keep a little journal that is exclusively for whimsy. I draw in it and write poems in it and do funny little ethnographies of the Katy-ans. There is no fretting about if it's instagrammable or not. It's only for me. This week, I explored what it is that I actually want. It's not very specific, just a broad brush stroke of the things that are important to me and that I want more of in my life. I've included them for you here. I hope you won't feel that it's just one more voice telling you what you should want, but that you'll figure out what some of those things you really want are too. 


  • a house full of people I love 
  • for my words to matter to somebody 
  • a simple life in a beautiful place 
  • for the days to be full of purpose + connection 
  • wide margins for rest + silliness + family time 
  • small, daily celebrations 

I tend to get caught up in the Very Specifics of what I think my life should be, but that makes me feel claustrophobic. This feels a little more spacious and open to improvisation. Knowing what I basically want keeps me from committing to something just because it seems like something I should want, or something that should put me on a certain path. Because if that thing doesn't line up with these parameters from the get-go, the thing it's leading to probably isn't something I'd enjoy anyway. 

Here are a few questions to ask yourself when figuring out what you want: 

1) When I look back over my life when I'm older, what do I want to see most? 

2) What are the things that make me feel happiest + whole? 

3) What do I daydream about? 

4) What is my gut feeling about this opportunity/purchase/move, etc.? Imagine in detail how you would feel if you said yes, if you said no, if you were able to change a few things about it. 

5) What would I be willing to give up in exchange for this? 

Hope this is helpful :) Thanks so much for stopping by my little corner of the internet. 


the way through

a naptime manifesto